Family and community gatherings often bring us together with people of different ages. This can be a challenge when we experience differences. Very young children get into everything, adults can be so engaged in their projects that they become overworked and stressed out, and the elderly tell stories about the past while we wonder how they apply to us.
The three main age periods, childhood, adulthood, and elderhood also bring significant contributions to our happiness. When we better appreciate the contributions of age, it is much easier to appreciate the differences.
Martin Seligman, in his book, "Authentic Happiness," described three main sources of happiness: Pleasures, flow, and having a purpose greater than yourself. When you have all three sources of happiness, your life is fulfilled. This consists of savoring positive feelings from pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from using your strengths and experiencing flow, and using these strengths in the service of something larger than yourself. Each of these routes to happiness builds upon each other, starting from childhood.
In childhood, young ones spend time in exploration and play. Enjoying the pleasures and using their curiosity to explore the world helps them develop the basic concepts for the more goal directed activities that follow.
In adulthood, our reactions to pleasures are more quickly habituated. Instead. our attention becomes more focused on accomplishing tasks. As adults, we like a challenge and and become gratified by being productive. This is when using our character strengths helps us to experience flow.
In elderhood, we become more aware the actions that are the most effective in accomplishing our goals. This allows us to make wiser decisions. As our physical strength declines, wisdom allows us to conserve energy and to focus on the deeper meaning and purpose to our lives. It helps us to see
our overall contribution and pass it on to others.
When we enjoy all three sources of happiness our lives become more deeply enriched and fulfilled. Take time to notice the contributions of each age and appreciate the joys that they give.
Then decide what combination of pleasures and fulfillments works the best for you, and communicate it to others. For example, you might enjoy joys of children for short periods, but not continuously. Instead, you might enjoy documenting the stories of the elders. Now, isn't that more attractive than
getting stressed out?
Warmly,
Dr. Alice
Copyright 2008 All rights reserved
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