Happiness and joy can take more than one form. Positive Psychologist, Martin Seligman, in his book, Authentic Happiness (2002) described three routes to happiness: Pleasure, engagement, and meaning. Pleasure, the path to happiness most frequently seen in the media, is no longer the primary focus of our attention. Today, we also seek to be productive and contribute to a purpose greater than ourselves. These three paths reflect three ways of relating to the world, exploring, doing, and being. They are a fundamental part of how we process information and develop sequentially with time as we mature.
Exploring
Exploring brings out the kinds pleasure and sensations that come from the stimulation of our senses.
You frequently see it in with children. Consider a two-year-old with food. It is easy to observe the
pleasure with the child enjoys the sensation of food when he plays with it, squeezes it with his fingers, smears it on his face, and enjoys its taste. You also see exploration, at any age, when we initially enter a new situation. For example, when you go to a new store, you may want to explore it just to get your bearings and know what is where. As we become more familiar with a situation, our attention the salient stimuli habituates. Exploration declines and is replaced by more goal and task oriented behavior. For example, after exploring a new store, we decide what we want to buy and where to get it.
Doing
Doing reflects the joy that comes from being engaged in accomplishing goals, completing tasks, and in meeting the challenges of life. It is most often seen in adulthood. Indeed, when you talk with an adult, it only takes a minute or two before one asks the question, "What do you do?" Adults live in a world of schedules, payments, obligations, and jobs that need to be done. For example, at mealtimes an adult might be most concerned about getting food on the table, completing the meal in a reasonable time, and making sure the chores are done. A young child's exploration is likely to be disciplined and seen as making mess. We enjoy our work when we are using our strengths. Still, in all this busy doing, we may ignore question of what is really worthwhile.
Being
We are "being" when we accept and appreciate who we are. When we are in touch with our deeper character, it helps us to better appreciate our contribution that comes through our presence. When our actions flow from this presence, they are more likely to serve us. These qualities of being often become more fully developed after midlife. For example, at mealtimes, this kind of happiness can be seen in the wise adult who delights in spending time with a child and redirects the child's attention through their presence rather than through and discipline.
Each of these ways of relating to the world has a function. They develop sequentially. In exploration, attention habituates as we develop the schema that underlie the more goal-directed and task-oriented activities that follow. With time, engagement in tasks eventually habituates to qualities of connection and being. All three are needed. Appreciating the qualities and contributions of each can help us create a more fulfilling life.
