We all like the experience of playing on a winning team. If we want to create change, a key component is knowing the keys for playing a winning game. The first key is to know the difference between a win-win, and a win-lose mindset. A win-win strategy is very different from a win-lose strategy of winner take all. Win-win games are based on positive emotions, such as love, happiness, and joy. A win-lose game is based on negative emotions, such as fear and anger. Negative emotions signal danger and constrict our attention to obstacles that need to removed. Positive emotion, broadens our attention, and builds upon our past.
Positive emotions also expand our awareness to include the negative, so as to transform it, making the whole situation positive. Even better, recent research has shown that positive emotion, as happiness, is infectious. Overall, win-win games are much more enjoyable than games that focus on win-lose. Any situation, can be seen as win-win, or win-lose. The key to winning is to maintain an internal mindset of remaining positive. Here are three tips for keeping your smile.
1. Capitalize on your strengths. These are the areas where you are most passionate, where you like to develop projects, and like to contribute. When you are in your strengths, you will discover that you are more resilient and positive throughout the day than when you focus on fixing your weaknesses. For example, a friend of mine has a strength of generosity. Helping others gives her a deep sense of purpose and joy in facing the challenges of life.
2. Once you identify your strengths, align them with the universal strengths common to all cultures and traditions. This helps you to see how you contribute to the big picture. You can do this by going to the Authentic Happiness website (www.authentichappiness.org) and take the brief strengths test or the VIA strengths questionnaire. You will discover that you have a set of strengths that are unique to you, while still being part of the universal core. Then reflect on how they have helped you and others. This is very gratifying because it helps you to see how your efforts, right where you are, one moment at a time, contribute to the greater good.
3. Look for the strengths of others. When you do this, your mindset changes. It moves you from feeling isolated to seeing yourself as part of a team. It helps you shift from “Me vs. you” to “We are all in this together.” If there is an area where you are weak, manage it out by finding others for whom this area strong. This is a key to good team work. We get a strong sense of well being when we have an integrated sense of ourselves at our best. Combining this with the best of others, and creates a powerful effort.
A win-win mindset helps us to become empowered to do our best. There is deep gratification that comes from being connected and working with others. You will find that if will help you become more talent and creative, and much more able to withstand the challenges that come into your life. It is the mindset that helps to rebuild the economy.
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