Life Attractions

Happiness: What Makes a Great Day?

When you are having a "Great and Wonder Day," what is it that truly makes it great? Reflect on It a moment.  Is it pampering yourself, hanging out with friends, eating chocolate? How about being outside, appreciating nature, sharing, and connecting with others and something bigger?  What about the obstacles?  Are they sources of frustration, or do you see them as challenges for you to use your strengths?  

In the past ten years, "Happiness" has been the topic of much research.  What the experts find is that enjoying the pleasures of life is nice, but that once our basic needs are satisfied, we are ready for more. We are more than human robots, we are doers and creators. We want to make a dent.  It gives us a deep gratification, to know our strengths, use them, and have an effect.

Indeed, researchers Diener and Seligman (2004) found that beyond money and meeting basic needs, we are happier when we can promote well being.  We need to be productive, find meaning, and utilize our strengths.  Without service, positive emotion gives way to emptiness and depression.  In order to be truly happy, we need to feel connected, take action, and feel empowered.

This gives rise to a growing number, and largely unseen organizations that are making a difference by correcting the injustices in the world, doing what needs to be done. A  young Indian, helping some of his country's poorest farmers, said it well, "I have to feel  I am doing something to address the roots of suffering.  Otherwise, I can't be happy." Beyond savoring the pleasures, have a great day by using your strengths to make a difference to those you care and love. You may find yourself a lot happier.

Transform Stress to Success

It has been said, "Greatness is born out of adversity."  Unfortunately, this is not always true.  When under pressure, emotions climb. Adversity can bring out your courage, brilliance, and persistence.  OR, it can STRESS you out. Learn how to use your stress to bring out your best. Join us for our teleseminar on Monday, October 26, 7-8:00 PM CDT as we explore how stress actually can help you grow and evolve.

Just register for our complimentary Teleseminar Transform Stress To Success

In this teleseminar, you will:

*Take a cultural perspective to see the critical factors that contribute to stress. 
-Dr. Jane Granskog - Cultural anthropology

*Compare the difference between an internal vs. an external yardstick of success on reducing stress.
Dr. Alice Vlietstra - Positive Psychology

*Learn how messages from your body can help you identify and reduce stress.
Dr. Adrienne Zahner - Integrative healing

Just register here: Transform Stress to Success

Create a New Story to Become Empowered and Grow

Our lives are intrinsically entwined around the stories that guide our lives.  We have personal and family stories that are deeply meaningful to us, cultural stories, such as our American story, as well as our common human story.  For all of our cultural differences, our language differences, and richly varied customs and traditions, psychologically healthy humans around the world share universal core values and aspirations.  We all want healthy happy children, loving families, caring communities, and a healthy natural environment. We want to hear the stories about how people make this happen.

These aspirations have been challenged by stories that focus on competition, survival of the fittest, domination, greed and violence. Now that we are at the brink of social and environmental collapse, it is becoming imperative that people, aware, take action to manifest the world of our dreams. We need to recognize our long suppressed and even denied, capacity for sharing and compassion at the grass roots.

This last year has challenged a prevalent American story, "Money is destiny."  While this story works for meeting basic needs, it can lead to a depersonalized economic system.  This, in turn, disrupts the bonds of neighborhood and family, making it difficult to promote the development of caring and compassion of people.  For example, parents have often worked long days, away from their children,  leaving the children under the care of the TV and/or child care worker. Frequently, children's TV programs highlight violence, which fail to support the development of compassion and character. 

Other times the social learning of teens is left to peer groups, without adult leadership, which limits the development of their morals.  An alternative is to center our economy around well being at the grass roots.  We can do this in our churches, synagogues, homes, and places where we can take time to converse and reflect.  Then we become aware of the stories that have influenced us, and choose to create new ones. 

Rather than money is destiny, we might consider "Character is destiny." This story is more solid.  It is based on the wisdom of the ages, as well as our common sense experience, and ongoing research.  Indeed the stoic philosopher, Epictetus saw character as the one prime quality of happiness and success. Character is the fodder for much learning and growth. It is much more interesting, and gives us an opportunity to discover the true potentials of our human nature. Consider it, as you create the story of your life.  

Become Empowered: Cherish Your Family Stories

Every great country, business, family, and individual became that way because they were able to rise to the occasion when facing challenges and stress.   Adversity brings out the best of us, but only we can focus on higher purpose, maintain our sanity, and see the challenge through.  This is the fodder for many great stories. 

One way to identify your values and strengths is to reflect on the stories that are important to you and to your family.  Stories help you to discover the hidden factors that influence your life.  They also help you to appreciate your ancestry.  Many families have cherished old stories, told and retold at family gatherings.  The stories encourage us to talk about what is important.  

 

Take time to reflect on these stories, look for the hidden factors that helped you and your family rise to the occasion, face your challenges, and come through.  These are the character strengths that are unique to you.   As you become clear about these values, you will become more centered within yourself and clearer how you daily acts make a difference.

For example, I come from a family where we have a strength of a “love of learning.” My father, in his early years was a country school teacher.  He was especially touched one day in his rural classroom when a little girl fainted, too weak to concentrate.  She told him, “It was not her turn to eat breakfast that day.”  Inside her lunch pail was only a cold potato.  He shared his lunch with her and began to learn about nutrition. 

 

He subsequently became a teacher in the agricultural sciences and encouraged many community farmers and the members of our family to seek a higher education.  It was his lifelong mission to promote the growth and development of people, by facilitating their learning.  This story is fondly remembered because shows how all people are significant.  Our daily actions, carried out to benefit others, can lead to great results.