Life Attractions

The Best of 2009: Creating New Visions of Happiness

A group of us have joined a writing project on the best of 2009.  It was organized by Daniel Scocco at www.dailyblogtips.com.   For me, the greatest blessing was the financial crisis, letting us know there is more to happiness than money.  With all of the challenges of the year, one of the biggest has been the confirmation that really makes us happy may be our bonding, our relationships with each other, our families and communities.  Indeed, research has demonstrated that once basic needs our met, a continued emphasis on money may lead to anxiety and depression.   Actually, releasing the emphasis on materialism can make you feel stronger and happier.  

This year when my family has gathered for reunions and holidays, we have combined our celebrations with a "Giving ." For me, it has been one of the most gratifying experiences of the year.   I had a "Giving" on Black Friday after Thanksgiving. We also had one for my mother this summer.  Whoever hosts gets to host the "Giving." As with many people, I have had collections of stuff that has been piling up for years in the hidden corners and rooms.  My giving was centered on my library, where I had extra books that I had accumulated and not looked at for at least 10 years.  Within two hours the room was magically transformed. All of the unused books were donated to charity. The recipients were most delighted to distribute them to others.  It was a great joy to experience the teamwork, to feel productive, and the freeing power of letting go.  The following are a few tips on what we found to  make a "Giving" a success.

The Paradox of Women's Happiness: What You Can Do

More and more women are awakening to their feminine power in evolving a better world.
Over the last 40 years, women have achieved wider influence, better job prospects, and greater acknowledgment for their achievements.  And yet, recent studies reveal that women have gradually become less happy, less happy than men, and unlike men, grow sadder as they get older.  It shows up in stress.  According to the World Health Organization, depression is the second leading debilitating disease among women (Heart disease is #1). Depression clocks in at 10 in men and women take twice as many SSRI's.

So, what really makes for women's happiness?  What do we women really want? What is the source of the stress?   Listen to our teleseminar on What is Happening to Women's Happiness.  We will give you critical information on women's happiness from three perspectives.  Dr. Jane Granskog, looks at the role of gender in different cultures and what has brought happiness and peace over the years.  I speak on the psychology of women's happiness and what women can to shift out of stress and depression.  Then Dr. Adrienne Zahner will share on how we can listen to our body for clues to what to do to increase happiness. Again, just click on the link.

 

Stressed Out? Release your Excess Stuff and Build Connection

With all of the challenges of the year, one of the biggest blessings is the discovery that most of what make us happy has little to do with money and stuff.  Indeed, once basic needs are meet, excess stuff actually is not always a benefit. 

Indeed, researchers have found that people who make material items a top priority are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It also has a negative impact on family functioning.  Think of young children, yearning for the attention of their parents.  Family meals are a wonderful time to create connection.  In many homes, however, the family table is covered with stuff.  Instead of meaningful conversation, family members may simply eat in front of the TV, no one talking to each other. This impedes healthy socialization. Excess stuff, also leads to hassles in maintaining the home, resulting in friction, frustration, and yelling.  Finally, consider the stress of paying for the stuff.  Often both parents, working away from home, are needed to pay for it.  Many of us have pursued the happiness portrayed by the advertised ideal, only to find that after the novelty wears off, it leaves us feeling empty, stressed, and worn out.  
  
On the other hand, reducing the amount stuff in the home can make you feel strong. This year when my family gathered for reunions and holidays, we our combined our Celebration with a "Giving Party."  It truly has been one of the most gratifying experiences of the year. I come from a family of six siblings. As our mother has became more frail, we realized we needed to face the archives at the family home. The family archives consisted of collections of stuff that had been piling up for years in the hidden corners, the basement, and garage. 

It was a great joy to release the excess stuff by working as a family team. We felt most productive in creating a new vision for our family, with a simpler life, and more time to enjoy each other, simply by letting go of stuff.  It was most gratifying to distribute the unused items to local charities for those who neded it.